Dare to have it ALL.

Dare to have it ALL.

Mothers, moms, sisters!

Do we know each other ?  I dearly hope our paths will cross again, eventually. I am a Womom, I gave birth 2 times. They’re grown-ups now. I raised them mostly alone; I had good jobs, bad jobs, work I loved, work I hated so much…  I went back to school than I freelanced for a while to reconnect with myself. I wanted to patch things up with the dream life of my wildest dreams.

The wording patching up may seems dramatic; it’s just one reality on human’s terms. Occasionally, I need to slow down, take a big breath, make an inventory and accept to grow with my decisions. In my case, giving birth was the first biggest decision of my life; to let them go as free spirits was the second hardest decision for me and to learn to love them from a distance was the trickiest skill I ever crafted. I’m still in training…

After twenty years plus, I guess letting go is like giving myself permission to rebirth from all my experiences as a grown and wiser Womom. There is a new metamorphosis going on.

 – Moments of awareness, breathing, looking down to my belly, back in time, going in, knowing I’m choosing to censure myself a bit, I’m just following the flow… – 

I believe we keep alive the wisdom from our experiences by sharing it. Writing a blog is the modern way of leaning on each other, the new kind of tribe we can rely on. However, I’de love to meet you also, I don’t want to stay behind a screen, I want to feel, share touch, eat, laugh together. A nice blend of all experiences and realities from virtual, material,  visible, invisible. All in…In all worlds.

In my early Twenties, I believed staying my own self in motherhood was a pretty obvious easy thing to do. I must say it wasn’t that easy to achieve and it’s still a challenge from time to time. There is a universal layout for every kind of women out there! The Beautiful Woman of Modernity or the Amazing Mom or the Successful Professional Mother or the exquisite spouse behind the curtains or The Mother. Seriously pick your poison, it’s one modern icon con at the time.

Some days it’s hard not to feel compelled by any of these much-stigmatized portraits. I mean it can happen in a beat. One afternoon, feeling very tired at the office, looking outside and boom, we suddenly dream we would be happier not working anymore, cooking cleaning reading a book in the afternoon with a coffee…or  we see ourselves doing much more with less time like an angel from a parallel universe…and do we try to fit or not ?

The Medias bombard us with all sorts of images with rules stating who we should be or not be. They’re like prohibited fruit in a Reload of   »Ma Sorcière Bien-Aimée » –  »Bewitched ».

I am not even talking about what we should have or not have to eat. We can easily make a list of all the things we have to buy and show off in order to maintain these images. It’s everywhere. So what happens if you find yourself seriously hooked by one of these delusive icons, you know the one you promised yourself you would never ever look like, be like feel like…Well usually the family tree and the prohibited fruits we swore to never ate are showing at the door. We pledged to never act like them…but the temptation is catching us off guard, we love them they are like an old wardrobe so comfortable and old but there is still a tiny voice screaming from very far: We do not want to live like that right? Like our parents right? We are not happy living like that ? Right ?

Right!

Yes, occasionally we fall back near the tree, in the apple zone. My style: I crumbled into a victimized state of mind.  I guess it will always be a part of me. Somewhere, somehow, there’s a sleeping beast under my skin. It doesn’t manifest itself often but when it does, it actually takes control over me. I learned to feed the beast with all of my light, with all of my love and to be very definitive about its place in my world.

If it had to happen again, I know what to do. I have to change that MOOD quickly.  Quickly means on the Emergency drive, all hands on the deck, meditation, candles, breathing praying observing! Quickly means I have to climb back in my pants before I forget what I believe in. Zoom in. I do not want to change my mind about motherhood, I am a Womom, I don’t cultivate guilt or shame about being a woman and a mom, I love my freedom and it’s okay.

I can be all of me and I can have it all. – I can be all of me and I have it all. – I can be all of me and I  have it all. – I can be all of me and I  have it all.

That’s my mantra for bringing  my soul back to the Womom. I practiced it a lot. Slowly I liberated myself, I tamed the fear of not feeling enough by simply being me. It seems like a never-ending story but the efforts were worth it. Every day I gained ground by living my cored values and by daring to feel free.

– Moments of silence, breathing, looking what I’m writing, going in, feeling, just following the flow… – 

To be a mother and to be a woman is fabulous. It feels more fun in one word.  Womom sounds all in for all I am.  I want to share with you  my personal lessons on the Womom journey, it is reminder for me.

  • To have it all is possible ( no matter what you don’t see)
  • I worked in several fields and professions…as a free spirit it is not an excuse…
  • I bought a house on my own, it means something.
  • 20 years ago, I stumbled on a very important word in my life: ALL.
  • Women have to define their ALL. We all have to define our All.
  • 30 years ago, I was playing my life like a poker game, ALL IN, no regrets, no tomorrows. It was good it felt amazing. I was hooked on that feeling.
  • My children are God’s scent, I feel gratitude. They chose me. I became another version of myself, yep no doubts it’s a better me.
  • My lifestyle changed,  I really needed to cover their needs
  • I did not become the woman of my deepest fears… ( loll )
  • Redefine the word ALL IN –  include your children, your goals, your future, your dreams
  • Love your new ALL IN.
  • Kids do not really listen to what we say; they mostly do what we do.
  • As they grow older, a detached loving caring motherhood is a daily practice.
  • Parenthood is not an experiment but it is an experience, no matter what we believe in.
  • Every baby is unique, every parent is unique.
  • We grow together, for better and sometimes with the worst part in each of us.
  • Every soul is unique. We are different from our children, they are not us.
  • To lean and breathe works miracles
  • The only person I can change is I.
  • Love is not always flowing both ways at the same time. Respect the natural flow of every one.
  • Compassion is the road-map leading back to love, to the Womom.

 

Do you have a definition of ALL ? A definition of ALL IN.